Baseball Mom

i promise!

i'm sure there is no one left who checks this page, judging from the fact that i haven't posted in almost a year.  i feel so bad, but i get into this 'thing' where i just stop posting, then feel guilty, then my motivation just disappears!  sooo much has happened in the past year.  t is in high school, and it's been a challenge, to say the least.  this is his second year, and i still feel like i go to school with him-emailing teachers, etc.  alex is in 4th grade, and doing great.  of course, we know that the slacking starts later.  alex did soccer this fall-he has a friend who keeps bugging him to play football, but he really does love soccer.  baseball was fun last year-our team did well, considering it was their first year in the new division.  we got a tournament team together and did several tournaments too.  the group was super good, and very successful.  they took 3rd in the 4th of july bash, 2nd in another local tourney, then had to forfeit another one due to a crooked tournament director who, after we had won our two morning games handily, said for our kids to go get lunch.  he then decided, after a half hour, that our kids needed to be on the field in 10 min.  we were 10 min. late, so he forced us to forfeit.  it was heartbreaking.  we ended in august, then soccer started.  alex will be starting his pitching/hitting lessons again in the next week or two.  he takes them through diamond players academy at northwest timberjacks.  he has an amazing instructor, and last year hit 3 homeruns in 1 game!!!  i am going to continue to update, and hopefully we will have a great season for me to write about.  as far as work goes, that's another post entirely...i will write that another day-it will take awhile!  let's just say it's a challenge right now.

bringing the happy back

http://www.bandbacktogether.com/bb2g-bringing-the-happy-back-world-tour

omg, auntie becky is totally a mind reader!  for the past couple of days, i've been reflecting on this year.  there have been some pretty darn good things about this year...let's remember~

>the Blue Raiders (alex's team) won the division championship and had an undefeated season.

>T started high school and nothing exploded in my little world.

>i got my favorite job of all time, which just ended (sucky) but may, if there is a miracle, continue.

>alex is excelling in 3rd grade and reading with the 4th graders.

those are a few.  also?  some pretty suck-ass things happened~

>my tahoe gave up the ghost, and needs a new engine...it's still at the mechanic's house, almost a year later.

>haiti earthquake

>people realized that obama is not the messiah (sucky but also good, and now i will shuttup about politics)

>we had to put our zippy dog down in june.

>i took a long hiatus from writing because i was a bit intimidated by a family member finding my blog and calling me out on it.

to name a few.  anyway, i was thinking about how my resolution last year was to be the best mom i could be.  to be patient and loving, and then unicorns and puppies would fly by on wings of glitter and blow rainbow heart bubbles as they passed by.  i beat myself up a lot this year, whenever i had a not-so-proud parenting moment, and i hated myself for it.  in thinking about this, and feeling like a failure, i realized that i have to make *me* happy before i can make other people happy.  i have to be satisfied with my life before i can be someone else's role model.  i have to take time to care about what i need, and not just what others want.  this year, i am promising myself that i will do these things, and try my best to take life one day at a time, and smell the roses along the way.  go check out becky's post...it's exactly what i mean.

shamelessly lazy dayz

my boys and i just got up.  actually, tyler is still asleep, and it is 11:30.  yikes!  maybe it's the post holiday exhaustion or something.  i got sick on christmas night, and had a fever all day yesterday, so i slept a lot of the day too!  it's going to be hard when we go back to school next week.  we had a nice christmas, it was fun seeing all of the family.  i feel so lucky that we have so many family members still around.  coach's parents are both in heaven, and he is pretty much estranged from all but two of his 7 brothers and sisters, so it gets a little lonely for him.  he does enjoy my family, though, so that helps.  we've all been cooped up together in the house for the past week, pretty much, so we were all getting a little crabby!  he badly sprained his ankle two days before christmas, so he has been laid up ever since.  not fun!  this time of year, i always thank god when we all survive the togetherness-haha!  he is back to work today, and i'm sure he is happy.  he gets bored, whereas i could relax and read all day long.  there was a marathon of pitbulls and parolees a couple days ago, and i was totally happy to just veg and watch it.  i think, because i get so little downtime, i have learned to appreciate it!  i hope you and yours had a wonderful, relaxing holiday! 

shopping and not baking and coughs, oh my

the christmas craziness is upon us!  it's like every year, i wait til we are out of school to really hit it hard with the shopping.  i had done some, and also a few things online, but i am not nearly done.  i have a horrid cough, so my voice is almost gone, and the contractors showed up at 8 this morning to take our old oil furnace out of the kitchen.  The upstairs also had a big square column in it that hid the chimney to the oil heater, so they took that out too!  i was shocked-i did NOT think they would touch it.  we have a grant through HUD to update some things, and it only goes up to $25,000.  i thought it was maxed with the heating system and new roof, plus electrical updates, but apparently they had enough left over to do it.  it really opens up the upstairs a LOT.  the kids will be happy because it makes their room look bigger.  it's been a real struggle for me...all of the upheaval, and i can see why people freak out during home remodels.  i think for me, it's the idea of all of the cleanup and putting back what they have moved around and packed in boxes.  we never put the nutcrackers up for christmas because of all of the dust, and i am thinking there may not be much baking going on in my kitchen!  it's just like moving.  the kids are enjoying having time off, and so far have gotten along pretty well.  i'm thinking i will take them up snowboarding after christmas.  this week is going to be catching up on shopping!  i feel very fortunate to be able to give them a nice christmas, and after seeing some of the families at school who are struggling, it makes me appreciate it even more.  my husband picks up a second job for the holidays, so we are lucky.  hope you are all having a fun season...i'm going to make myself slow down a bit and enjoy it more!

 
our christmas card pic :)

updates-finally!

i keep telling myself i need to update this blog.  i feel so bad about ignoring it, and letting busy life get in the way, but now i know i need to just DO IT!  writing makes me feel so much better, and helps me to be who i am.  i let the feelings of some family members who found my blog by accident influence me, and i miss it.  i truly do.  sooo, without further ado~

-my kids are doing great-t is in high school this year, and although it's been a big adjustment, he is fighting the good fight and doing well.  math continues to be hard for him, but he is finally getting algebra.  he has a better teacher than in 8th grade, and i think it helps tremendously!  alex is in 3rd grade, and is excelling.  he goes to a 4th grade class for reading, and is doing great in there!  he got an excellent report card from his teacher who pushes the kids very hard, so i am proud of him. 

-soccer ended for alex about a month ago, and i think he misses it.  he had a  few frustrations, as he did last year and in previous years.  even though we moved to a more competitive club situation, he still got upset with the kids who were goofing off and not paying attention or playing their hardest in his opinion.  we talked with the coaches (two 18 year old boys who were great) and they really want him to try out for a select program, since he is so driven.  they felt that he had the talent to make it, so we will probably have him do that next year if he wants to.  there were a couple of kids on his team this year who were sooo whiny and annoying.  they wanted to play certain positions, would complain if they didn't get to, called teammates names, and in one case, walked off the field during a game because 'we aren't winning'.  crazy.  i would die of embarrassment if my kids did that!

-i have been lucky enough to have a job at alex's school again for the first part of the year.  i started a few days after school started (so much for my plans for a solo few days at home) and worked in alex's class, one on one with a kid who had some big issues and behavior problems.  he ended up moving, and it was a good thing, because i would have probably been done by this point.  he was very draining and frustrating, and also very negative.  i couldn't have lasted all year and not gotten burnt out by him!  the monday after he left, i was asked to sub for a lady in our building who lost her son in law tragically to suicide, and thought she would be out for a week.  she then changed her mind and has remained out, helping her daughter and grandkids and living with them for the most part.  she is supposed to come back after winter break, and i am dreading it.  i LOVE this classroom.  i love the teacher i work with, and the kids are a mix of autistic, aspergers, and various other minor learning disabilities.  it's the one classroom that i've enjoyed so much, i would totally stay forever.  i will miss it greatly if she does return.  she is past retirement age, but likes her job...i totally understand!  i have another job waiting for me if she returns, at our school, one on one with a girl who has a lot of medical issues and needs someone to monitor her for seizures, etc.  i don't really relish the idea, but will do it if i can stay in our building.  i love it there!

-coach is doing well.   he is working two jobs for the holidays and making good money.  we are blessed to say that we are comfortable and will have a good christmas.  we are all missing baseball!  tyler has broached the subject of not trying out for high school ball, and we are okay with that.  he has played for 9 years, and if he doesn't want to continue, we are perfectly happy.  he is caught up in the social scene, and i figure, he is at the age where many kids are just done.  we will see!  alex is looking forward to seeing all of his baseball buddies again. 

-we are undergoing a major project around our house.  our city gives federal grants to people with old homes (ours is 64 years old) to redo things in their homes and bring them up to code.  we got 25 grand for a new roof (ours has been leaking for over 2 years), new electrical panel, hard wired smoke detectors, more outlets, and a new heating/air conditioning system called multi splits.  they are boxes that mount above a window in the living room, dining room, and bedrooms.  they hook to a heat pump outside, and are ductless.  we were without heat during a snowstorm/winter cold snap a few weeks ago, and it SUCKED!  we also have been enduring days with tripping breakers, no electricity in certain rooms, contractors showing up at 7 in the morning, etc. etc. etc.  it's almost over, and will have been totally worth it, although it's been a challenge.  this morning, i had to shower with a flashlight and had no hairdryer outlet because the breaker wouldn't stay on.  we don't have to pay this money back unless we sell our house, so it's a no brainer...we had to take advantage of it.

so...how YOU been?! 

fun/not fun

we just came off of our first tournament with alex's team.  coach got a couple of kids from another team because our kids couldn't all make it.  it was too bad, because our team is great...undefeated and won their division for our baseball club.  the tournament was in a small town about 30 min. away. just far enough to feel like you really went somewhere, but close enough to go home for the night!  it was a very backyard tourney.  the 8u games were played at the local middle school, which had the weirdest setup i've ever seen!  at each field, there was a dugout on ONE side, with nowhere for parents to sit but in the outfield, then on the other side, no dugout and lots of seating including bleachers.  so, if you didn't want to sit with the other team's fans, you had to sit in a weird place.  i sat in the dugout when we had that side, since i keep score and couldn't be far away in the outfield.  the fields were veerrrrrry dusty and they did not water them down so we ate dust all day long.  they used pitching machines run by generators, and they were very inconsistent.  the kids also played with hardballs for the first time!  our boys did really well.  even with a few pickup players that they didn't know.  they won their first game against a select team (at 8!) and lost the second game 17-16....they played their butts off!  losing was very hard for our boys-since they went all season without a loss.  it was actually good for them, though...they have to learn to lose gracefully!  the second day, they played the first place team from the other division (the teams were split into 2) and were sluggish and just not enthused from the get-go.  they lost 11-1.  the second game, we got them fired up by offering money and m&m's, plus they got to play and have fun between games so that woke them up.  they played sooo well against the same team that they lost to the first day.  let me stop a second and explain the umpire situation.  if parents pay for a tournament, they should get their moneys' worth-which means real, certified umps.  this one was umped by the tournament director and his kid who was about 15.  it was absolutely ridiculous.  coaches from both sides on every game were questioning the calls because the umps were not following their own rules.  they were having to make calls against their OWN players because the umps were not making any calls.  when the kid umped our game, he was on his cell phone part of the time!  he was also allowing the other coach to dial up the machine speed when his team batted, so the hits would go further.  it was a joke.  we lost our last game because there is a 'slide to avoid' rule (if the runner is coming in, and the catcher is in their way and there may be contact, the runner slides) and our runner didn't slide...even though there was NO CONTACT!!!  the ump called him safe, which would have been the tying run, then reversed his call when the other coach complained.  why not stick with your original call and let the kids just play it out?!  we got robbed.  our kids knew it, and we told them that as far as we were concerned, it was a tie and they did not lose that game.  we got 2nd place out of 11 teams, so they did great!!!  i was worried about alex being tired after two games each day but he immediately asked when we can do it again!  that boy loves to play ball.

RIP

this is a tribute post.  it's taken me a few days to write this, because we are all so wrecked.  last week, we were camping when i got a phone call from my mom.  she said she had been over to our house to check on our old dog, zip.  he wasn't doing well, and she was afraid it was 'time'.  i told her that it has probably been time for about three months now, but i just couldn't face taking that noble old boy in to meet his maker.   i broke the news to the boys--i literally could not speak for a minute because i was crying so hard.  they both immediately said that they wanted to go home and see him one more time.  i said, 'let's go' and we jumped in the car.  not much was said on the way home (about 45 min.) and we all trudged up the stairs to what we knew was going to be awful.  zip was outside, and he was sooo happy to see us.  he walked really fast across the yard, and the boys said, 'see, he is okay!  he's going to make it!'  but then he started breathing really hard, and fell down.  see, apparently labs have two windpipes, and they open and close as they swallow and breathe.  as they get older, the windpipes stop opening all the way.  there is surgery but it doesn't always work, and if it does, it's only for a short time, then they die of pneumonia.  he had been having breathing trouble for over a year, so we just tried not to get him excited because that's when it happened.  i told the boys that they would have to say what they wanted to say to him right now...that there was no hope for him to get better.  it was so hard for me.  i told them that we would take turns and each have our own time with him to say goodbye.  i had tyler go first, since zip was his third birthday present, and really, his dog.  alex and i went out back, and when i peeked at tyler, he was talking to zip and feeding him a piece of bread.  it just tore me up.  here was my boy, saying goodbye to his dog.  heartbreaking.  alex went next.  when it was my turn, i sat and hugged this great, brown dog.  this wonderful dog who had always been faithful.  who broke down the screen door to knock tyler out of the way when he raked a bees nest in the ground and bees swarmed him.  who always tolerated my kids and my daycare kids climbing all over him, riding him, and pulling his ears.  who never snapped at anyone, or growled.  who was a great footrest for me and kept my feet warm at night while i watched tv.  who put up with the addition of another dog into the family without blinking an eye.  who loved peanut butter, cheese, and people food in general.  who escaped frequently but always came back.  who loved to lay in front of the heat register when the furnace came on.  who had great golden eyes and the softest ears in the world.  who, as a big goofy puppy on tyler's birthday, fell into the hottub because he wasn't watching where he was going.  who, even as an old man who could hardly walk, would roll over onto his back when we walked by.  i loved this dog so, so much.  how could i say goodbye to him?  i told him how good he was, always.  how much we all loved him.  i petted him and sat with him for awhile.  he was really having trouble breathing, but he still looked at me with love.   i took his name tag off of his collar, and we all fed him a piece of cheese.  we had each said goodbye in our own way.  my mom and stepdad were kind enough to take him to the emergency vet for us.  the vet said what a beautiful boy he was, and how strong and handsome he was.  she petted him and gave him some valium.  my mom and stepdad held him and petted him as he had his shot, and he quietly slipped off to heaven.  it was peaceful.  it tears me up, even though i know we did him a favor in helping him to end his great life.  i can't stop thinking about him every time i turn around.  i think he will be waiting to lick the dishes in the dishwasher, or try to get out of the gate.
  i miss him so, so much.  i don't know how this is going to get better, but i know it will.  rest in peace, zippity do dog...we will all have a hole in our hearts for a long time.  good boy, zippy.

updates

>t's team took second in their division last night after a two game battle-way to go nighthawks, now on to metro league!

>getting ready to head to the middle school for t's 8th grade graduation...kinda sad, but also happy for him~he's moving on to high school and getting ready to do big things!

>alex's team is in the championship tonight...still undefeated.  go blue raiders!!!

ballin'

this past week has been baseball, baseball, and more baseball!  the kids are wrapping up their season with LBC Pony baseball, and t is starting another league right now that is overlapping for a week or so.  there were games monday, practice tuesday, games friday, and games today.  i feel so terribly guilty when both boys have a game at the same time, and it drives me crazy not to see both.  t and alex both had playoff games friday, and of course, when i was at alex's, t had a 2 out, 2 run single and i missed it!  today, alex's game was at 10-they played the only team that has given them a run for their money, and the other team was out for blood!  they apparently practiced every night this week to try to beat us...and picked up 2 'neighbor kids' because they didn't have enough players (funny, they had 11 at this game) but we still won.  alex had a great catch at pitcher-a hard line drive.  he is hitting with a .720 batting average...did 3 for 3 today.  both boys won today and are in the championships for their divisions.  next tuesday is our last day of school, and i have monday off for t's 8th grade graduation ::sniff::  we leave for camping on wednesday for 5 nights.  even though we just came back from camping, this is a different place and the weather is supposed to be better...the kids can swim!  they caught some huge kokanee on the last trip so we can't wait to go again.

bizzy

wow.  every year, the end of the school year just catches me off guard with the craziness.  as alex ends his second grade year, i am feeling a bit sad.  it's going wayyy too fast for my last baby!  he's an amazing student and sooo smart.  he is a role model in his classroom and his teacher raves about how kind he is.  i am so proud.  t is ending his middle school career in a few weeks.  he is going to high school and i am not sure how i feel about that.  i am concerned that he is not ready, and i know that many boys have a problem with organization and budgeting their time.  hopefully that will improve!  his grades have been up and down this year.  eighth grade is TOUGH!  the teachers are trying to prepare the kids for high school, and he has a couple who are not organized enough.  he really thrives on structure, so it's thrown him for a loop. his grades have come up in all of his classes because he is working hard.  i am very proud of his determination.   all in all, i think i am raising a couple of amazing boys who will grow to be amazing men.  all you can do is hope, right?